time to breathe.

i have been home from school for about a month now. i really haven’t been home for this long in awhile, and it has been something that is really different to me. the college life is one of transition and change and often little stability, so being in one place for awhile is hard to come by. and to be honest, it’s something that i find hard to do. i love being new places and doing new things and being busy wherever i go. when i'm at school i love having my time occupied with friends, schoolwork and a job. i enjoy having challenging and encouraging conversations with dear friends and staying up late in the dorm. i thrive off of working hard to do well in school and have always loved my jobs. But in the midst of all of that, i have not fully learned how to relax.
b r e a t h e. or slow down.

through a personality test (gotten love 'em), this year i discovered that one of my “strengths” is being an “achiever”. now i know there are strengths that come along with this trait, but let me tell you, there are definite weaknesses. one of the biggest weaknesses is this :it is so easy for me to “do” rather than “be”.
i run from class to a meeting to homework to time hanging out with friends then to studying then to etc....and at times, they all feel like tasks, i'm constantly on the move, constantly doing things. and i'll be real honest, it doesn't leave much time for me, or for the Lord, or even for fun. those three things get left out often because they aren't always tasks, but are still necessary for finding joy, rest, fulfillment, laughter, and the list could go on and on. but instead, i choose to feel good about myself when my tasks are done, or bad about myself if i missed something during the day. so it's obvious why this sometimes doesn’t always seem like much of a strength to me…

but you know what i have decided since i have been home:
my goal next year is to live freely, to be fully me, to live simply and delight in all God has for me each day. Because being home has shown me that it is possible. now, of course, i haven’t had near as many things that must get done while i have been home, but the Lord has showed me that i needed to be refreshed. that He needed to breathe life into areas of my life that I hadn’t taken time to stop and allow Him to. since i have allowed myself to rest, i have felt better; i have slept better; my mind has slowed down [and i may even be walking slower…] :)

[“those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” isaiah 40:31]

now i have known for a long time that when we rest in the Lord and patiently wait on Him, He renews us in ways that only He can. He breathes freedom and truth into our lives when we are willing to listen to Him. He really has always been carrying me all along and has been calling me to come to Him. at times, i listen but it is an occurrence that needs to happen more. He promises to keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast in Him. we must trust that He knows when we need rest, and we must learn to be sensitive to His voice.

[“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.” isaiah 26:3]

as I prepare to leave for Kenya in a little more than two weeks, i cannot explain how much this truth was needed in my life. i thought i would be drained from the year and was afraid i would be too tired to minister and serve the people of Mitumba. but instead, the Lord knew i would need this time at home to rest and be refreshed. once again, i am reminded that the Lord really does provide all we need for the work He has for us to do; and He often provides in ways we would never decide for ourselves, because His ways are always higher. Our God is a God who gives strength when we need it most, by His power and through His abounding grace.


[“Be strong in the Lord and His mighty power." ephesians 6:10]