rejoicing!

a boy that has been lost from mitumba for almost two months has been found!! bwana isifiwe! praise the Lord!
right before we got to kenya, in the beginning of june, a boy from the slum was lost when he was taken out of the slum with his mother, who has been having mental health issues. she took her two boys around the city and somehow, one night the youngest boy was lost. he couldn't have been any older than three. the people started praying and asking God to bring the boy back. the news was notified and police began to search night and day, but he was no where to be found. after about a month or so, everyone kept praying but hope was pretty thin that this small boy could have survived all this time away from home and food and shelter.
i got to spend time with this boy's mother, betty, the day that i left. i went to her home and sat with her and tried to understand some of the kiswahili she was talking with pastor's wife. she was saying how hard of time she was having with her son being lost and how it has been causing her great stress that leads to mental breakdowns. she said she was so thankful for our prayers, but she is not a christian. violet, the pastor's wife continued to tell her to put her trust in God to bring her boy back home. i spoke to her some more and had never prayed harder for someone to believe and for this boy to be found. i left the home in tears, and when i walked back to mitumba, i saw her older son, whose name is duke, standing right in front of me. it took everything inside of me to not break out into tears in front of all the children.
with all that being said, i left mitumba literally believing her child was probably dead. my faith that he would be returned was pretty small.
that is, until several days ago when i heard the boy had been brought back home! i received the news from the girl who had stayed with me during my last three weeks in kenya. she said there had been a lady in mitumba who had committed to praying for his return. one day, the Lord told her to tell betty to go to this certain slum. when betty did, she found her son! AND he was being taken care of by a family who had been feeding him and even taking him to school. the Lord hadn't lost sight of this boy and knew he would be returned to his family.
when i heard this news, i was amazed and couldn't even believe what i had heard. i was blown away by how the Lord had spoke to this woman and taken care of His child. i cried and cried, tears of joy. tears that longer to be back in mitumba more than i ever have since i have been home. tears that deeply wished i could be rejoicing with the people of mitumba in this celebration of the Lord's mercy and faithfulness.
as i have been back for almost two months and am transitioning into school mode, it's been easy to set the "mitumba" side of my heart to the side while i have had to pick up school, work and all my feelings about being back on campus for senior year. moments like this remind me that the people of mitumba are now a part of my life, a part of my heart. to "set them aside for now" could be easier for me and everyone around me, but the Lord will not allow me to do that. He reminds us of things in our hearts that have meaning and significance, of places where He taught us and changed us and set our hearts on fire. i am learning that those are the things that matter in life, the things i want to fight for. i want to stand up for issues and causes and people, but above all, i want to stand up for Christ and let all those things follow behind. i want to fight for betty to know Christ. i want to close my mouth to things that don't matter, that aren't eternal, and instead choose to speak to defend the gospel. i want my faith to be a fire inside my heart that can't be silenced or hidden or contained. i want to have faith that believes God can bring a small boy back home after two months of being out on his own. i want faith to believe God can heal betty completely so she can put her trust in Him. i want faith to believe that God will lead me back to mitumba if it is in His perfect will.

"rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn." romans 12

He is safe.

"everything is safe which we commit to Him"

lately i've been struggling with the idea of comfort. we've all heard that the Lord does not always say following His will will be comfortable for us, but instead He says "He who promised is faithful" and "He will give us everything we need according to His riches in glory". i'm beginning to become convinced that our life of faith and life as faithful followers of Christ should never quite be comfortable. there should always be work that the Lord is trying to do in us, or things that He is calling us to that we can only do by His power. He wants us to move, to grow, and to be changed. He wants all of our hearts, He cares more about the work He is doing in us than about how we feel at that moment.
i have been challenged to look at my faith and my life and stare some areas of struggle right in the face. areas where i have been comfortable for too long, like with money, and clothes, and sharing my faith (and more). as the Lord has been revealing those things to me, He has given me more than enough to overcome those strongholds that have led me to be comfortable.
see, the problem with becoming comfortable with what we have and what we do is that it leads to apathy. it leads to a place where we don't need God, we think we can do things on our own. we think we can create a life that is easy and comfortable. satan has caught us in this lie as a culture. he knows we love things, love our jobs, we love people more than we love our God. and because we become comfortable with all the worldly things, we began to become comfortable in our relationship with the Lord. we don't pursue Him, we don't give up things for Him because we think we're okay. we miss all the things we can learn, we miss out on learning more and more about our God who called people over and over in His Word from places of comfort to places of complete trust.
the thing that hit me today was this. there was a time in my life where i wasn't living and following the Lord like i knew i should. i was choosing the things of this world to satisfy me when i should have been looking to the Lord. and the thing is, i thought i was safe. i was choosing "comfort". i was choosing the life that everyone else was living and was trying to be content in that. i wasn't taking risks but simple playing along with everyone else. and during that time, i was anything but content; i actually had never been more restless. i had never felt more empty and knew i needed change, i needed transformation, i needed the Lord to become my everything. my heart was searching for somewhere to be safe, but it couldn't find safety anywhere.
in all that time, i was missing it. i was missing the truth that our safety does not come with things, with money, with friends, but it comes from a heart that is founded in the Lord. i didn't understand that lesson at the time, but now it means so much to me. "Lord, my heart is safe with you. Anything I give to you is safe." this is truth that should bring great joy and rest to our hearts as servants of Christ. because as His children, He can take us to the most remote place in the world to preach His name, and we will be safer than the one who stays at home their whole life while making decisions for themselves and never choosing to change or grow or follow the Lord.
so this is one of the many paradoxes of Christ. we find comfort and safety in taking risks, in sacrifice and in surrender for the Gospel. because we know the one who is holding us and guiding us is much more capable to do what He says He will than we are to figure it out on our own. that is why "everything is safe which we commit to Him". whatever we commit and give to the Lord is safe.
"the name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe." Prov. 18:10
"fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe." Prov. 29:25