momentum

how many times do you hear people say they are busy? it's a pretty common occurrence here in the christian college environment that i live in, and

honestly has left me numb to the word many times. it's almost become trendy to always be in a rush or always having something to do. whenever

you ask someone how they are doing, the normal response is usually going to be "good, but busy."
after spending my summer in a culture that gives precedence to relationships and the eternal over the busyness of every day life, i thought i would definitely carry this mindset over to my life back at school. as a senior in college, i thought i had the "time management" piece down and was excited to start a year that was free and uninhibited. i wanted to let go of schedules and meet new people. i wanted to dream really big about the future and

forget about every day tasks that so often become routine.
but what i have realized is this: i am not a busy person. busy means i have too much to do in too little time. what i truly am, is a person who is constantly going, constantly doing. the momentum of my life is always moving forward. i thrive off of the things i do each day and i am drawn into roles, places and relationships that i love. although these are all things that i dearly cherish, they seem to never allow me the time to stop. the time i need to slow down and unwind. the time i need to process all that i have done and to really see if my focus and drive and passion is in the right place. in the midst of trying to get as many experiences as possible, my passion for the things that matter in this world has been pushed somewhere into the back of my mind. the reality is that everything that i am doing now has the potential to matter, it has the potential to be my ministry, but has not yet fully become that. as i am running and going and doing, i am forgetting to be. i am forgetting my passion for the Lord. and i am forgetting the things that are unseen.
the Lord has called us as His people to strive and live for the things that are unseen. but instead, we as His followers try to do so much and be so much to so many people that we get lost. we lose our passion and our love for the Lord, we lose sight of what He has for us each day. a day can hold so much: it can hold hope, tears, thoughtfulness, rest, resfreshment, joy, trials, temptations, and so much more if we ask the Lord to reveal it us. because the truth is, sometimes i need the Lord to stop me. i need Him to show me that it's okay to slow down and stop running. and in that stopping and resting, He refreshes and restores me. He releases me from the things that i need to do and the person i think i need to be and says, "child, you are my own. you can only find everything you need in me, so stop running and searching and trying to find it on your own and simply look to me." in those moments, i remember. i remember that i was not created to run and jump and move at all times. my life was not created to be one of never-ending momentum. it is one of back and forth, up and down, chaos and rest. it is not what we do that gives us value, but it is how we act and how we learn to be. that is when we can fully be who God created us to be and to find peace in whatever pace we are moving. because as we move, we should focus our momentum on moving closer and closer to the Prince of Peace, the One who never changes, and the One who will tell us when to stop, slow down, and to go. let's let His momentum be our momentum.