no turning back.

well, the time has come!
in 24 hours, i will be on a flight to atlanta, and from there to amsterdam (maybe for some exploring) and then finally to nairobi. i finished packing today, cleaning my room, running last minute errands, and tried to keep myself occupied as i have been getting increasingly anxious about traveling. i think i am just ready to be there. once we arrive in nairobi, we will have about one day to unpack, sort everything, get familiar with mitumba, and prepare for the women's conference that will be friday through saturday. i feel humbled and unworthy to be talking to the women about hope, but i know the Lord will be ever so present during the conference and be leading our whole team by His spirit.

feelings of anxiety are never fun, and i had a rough time sleeping last night because of it. i have to admit that it is so easy to be overcome by fear after fear if i'm not clinging to the Lord and believing and knowing His Word. i am learning so much already about what it means to go to the Lord and give him all those anxieties, to cling to His word and to be in constant prayer. every time i have gone to the Lord to seek His word or in prayer for this trip, i have felt His peace and assurance. i know He will continue to teach me to draw near to Him before anything else, and i pray that i will continue to do that on this trip, no matter what the circumstance.

so anyways, i am going to leave with this song because we sang it at church on sunday, and it was a good reminder of what followers of Christ are living for, and from where the Lord has brought us.

"i have decided to follow Jesus...
the world behind me, the cross before me
the world behind me, the cross before me
the world behind me, the cross before me
no turning back, no turning back."

so much hope...

i cannot even describe how i am feeling right now. i have so many emotions about leaving so soon but in the midst of them all, i have been so amazed to learn the things the Lord has been teaching me in preparation for this trip. our team is already beginning to learn how to be flexible, as our flights have been changed due to some cancellations; but as of now, we are still leaving on the 9th at night instead of in the morning. we will have a 10 hour layover in Amsterdam and hopefully arrive in Nairobi around 7AM…this thought brings a huge smile to my face, as I can finally meet the beautiful people of mitumba that I have been preparing to meet for the past eight or nine months.

as i have been preparing for speaking about hope at the women’s conference, i asked the Lord to reveal what He wanted me to speak about. as He has been doing that, i have realized that when the Lord asks us to speak about something, He makes sure that He teaches us a big lesson about it also. and all i can say is that lately i have been amazed at the idea of hope, and what hope has looked like for God’s people throughout history. i have been reading lately about the people of Israel and their journey through the Old Testament. i have never more clearly seen that God has always been a God who rescues His people and desires to bring His people hope and restoration. but the thing is, as humans, we have a history of constantly putting our hope in the wrong things, while God has always been faithful and worthy of our hope. it makes more sense to me now why the people of Israel weren’t ready for the Jesus when He came. well, they weren’t ready for him to look like He did and come in the way He came, and live the way He did. they were waiting for something huge to come in and restore their name and bring them into freedom, the way God had done in the past. they had put their hope in being rescued from their enemies of the present. but the thing is, God knew that the ways of rescuing His people in the past could not ultimately save His people. He knew that they would continue to turn their eyes away from him and hope in things of this world. therefore, in His infinite wisdom and love, He sent His Son to earth, a plan that no one would have expected.

i know this story is not new at all, but sometimes, we too, are blinded by the things that breathe hope and life into our lives because we are constantly looking for answers that we think are best. because of this, we often don’t believe Him, trust Him, or understand His plan. throughout the Bible, there are stories full of people that need a Savior, people that need an everlasting hope. the hope of the people of the Old Testament was in the salvation of Christ coming to earth; and our hope today can continue to be found in God’s faithfulness throughout the Old Testament, in Christ, and in our lives today. what more do we need the Lord to show us before we realize that He always protects, sustains, rescues and saves His people?

since we can place all our hope is in Christ, we do not need to fear or worry about what is to come. We know that our ultimate hope lies in being fully with the Lord someday. Until then, we also must bring hope to the people of this world, because the Lord has called us to be “the hope of glory” (Col. 1:27).

i have never been so in awe of the salvation plan of God, to see His heart throughout time, and see His desire to bring hope to all people. I could not be more thankful to serve a God of enduring hope, faithfulness, and glory.

“no one whose hope is in You will ever be put to shame” Psalm 25:3

“O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.” Psalm 130:7

“for I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” Romans 8:18

"may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13